Responsibility

TAKING RESPONSIBLITY

                                                By John Leon

            I am the proud father of two beautiful daughters, and have no qualms about saying that. Many, if not most parents, will say the same thing about their offspring. My oldest daughter drives and what I have done, and this is just me, is I have always, ALWAYS, expected communications between them and myself, whether it just to say hello or to let me know that she made it safely driving from one place to another.

I’m starting to have a problem with the increasing amount of accidents and injuries that these kids are having is this day and age. Recently, 3 players were in a car accident driving FROM a game. Why? Wasn’t there a team bus? Buses usually make for team chemistry, allowing the kids to form bonds with one another before and after the contests.

            I understand that many students are driving and want to become independent but the question in my mind is who’s taking responsibility for these students?

            Three possible suspects arise from this question and all should share in the answer.

            One is the parents. I know that when my daughter started driving, I was, and still am, scared to death that she would be in an accident. (She’s been in three and none her fault). I know it happens, but when does the responsibility start? How do the parents allow them to drive from one school to another school when there are buses, I assume, available to transport the team? If the game is played in or near your home that’s one thing, but in many cases, I’m not seeing any reason for this to happen.

            Two, where were the coaches that allowed this to occur? How is it possible to form a game plan when some of your players are not within earshot to talk about the game today? Being together on a team bus allows that to happen. Is it that important for these kids to drive to and from? How about the LIABLITY to the school if something happens, as did last week? If I’m a parent and that happened WITHOUT my knowledge, first I’m gonna rip my kids a new one, then I’m gonna talk to the coach and find out what the hell they were thinking!

            Third and most importantly, are the kids. Again, what the hell were they thinking and who gave them permission? Was there a waiver signed? These kids want the freedom but not the responsibility of being accountable for their actions. It doesn’t work that way my friends and that’s where the problem lies.

            There are no solid answers to any of the questions above except for the fact that it is a combination of mistakes. Starting with the coaches who allowed it, the parents who gave them the car in the first place and then the kids who drove, that want the independence but no responsibility.

            It’s time to step up children, and learn the lessons that your parents did. Our children have it WAY better than we did and that’s no one’s fault but ours. I have been able to afford to buy my daughter cars and that’s ok, we all want better for our children than we had it, but she learned about how to be responsible also. I drilled the mantra of calling when she left, and when she arrived. She takes FULL RESPONSIBILITY for her actions whenever she’s out. I don’t want to hear any excuses, and again, accidents happen, but when will they learn about not putting yourself in a position to have an accident?

            Consequences of her actions are dealt with if/when they happen and action is taken after all of the facts are heard. If I find that she’s been at fault I formulate a judgment and if she’s not at fault we talk about how to solve it. Communication, isn’t it a wonderful thing?

            So in the final analysis, I blame the students that feel like they have to be able to drive to and from the contests. I have a BIG problem with that and as a former coach, I would not allow it, again, unless the parents know and they live in close proximity to the location. It shouldn’t be allowed and there’s no reason for it. The coaches were at fault here, unless there’s not a policy at the school forbidding it without a waiver. Finally, the blame also falls on the parents, who have given their blessing to the independence but have not taught them about taking responsibility.

            Everyone has to get back to having some thought as to how to share the responsibility for the students. The time to start teaching and learning is now, before anything else happens.